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Poor parenting is leading to an epidemic of mental health issues among Australian kids, but is going unnoticed because criticising parents is considered taboo.

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Poor parenting epidemic leading to 'emotionally abuse'
Poor parenting is leading to an epidemic of mental health issues among Australian kids, but is going unnoticed because criticising parents is considered taboo.

Poor parenting is leading to an epidemic of mental health issues among Australian kids, acclaimed author and school principal John Marsden says.

Marsden said he felt things had become "powerfully worse" for kids in recent years and he lay a large part of the blame on mums and dads who didn't know how to parent effectively.

He described it as "emotional abuse" by those in the "respectable Australian middle-class, which comprises most of the population nowadays".

"It's not visible in the way that physical abuse is, because there are no cigarette burns or bruises or black eyes, but there is terrible damage and it's damage that can't be ever fully repaired. It's lifelong."

Marsden said it was often suffocating or overprotective parenting that could lead to things like addictive behaviour, depression, anger, crime and a feeling of helplessness because kids didn't learn coping mechanisms.

He said it was going unnoticed and he saw no public discussion around the issue for a couple of reasons.

"I think one is that parenthood is regarded as a sort of sacred subject and that you're on dangerous ground if you criticise parents or the role that parents take in their children's lives," he said.

"It's also a by-product, I think, of the growing anxiety and tension in Western countries about the state of the world and the future.

"It's kind of coming from their own inner chaos and uncertainty."

He's written the book on the subject — literally:

Marsden has written more than 40 novels, mostly aimed at teens, and is the founder and principal of two independent schools. He has also been a step-parent to six kids.

He has just released his latest non-fiction book, The Art of Growing Up, which delves forcefully and bluntly into the topic of parenting and education.

It contains chapters like "Effective Parenting" and "Middle-Class Children in the 21st-Century Morass" and is something of a distillation of his experiences and frustrations dealing with parents and children.

It also includes case studies from his school of the types of ideas parents have that he believes are problematic:

'My child is my hero': Parents who indulge their kids no matter what they do.

'My child is extraordinary': Narcissistic parents who have a sense of failure about their own adult lives.

'I believe in free-range farming ... and parenting': Those who avoid tough decisions and discipline.

'He/she is my child and will do what I say': Overly controlling parents.

'I'm too busy saving the world; I don't have time for my child': Absent parents.

'My child and I are, like, best friends?': Those who want to be friends, not parents.

Marsden admitted some current parents at his school may find the book difficult reading, and said he'd had run-ins with mums and dads before when broaching the topic of their parenting.

"There could be parents pull their kids out of the school after they've read it," he said.

"You get the whole range of reactions, just like there's a whole range of different parenting styles.

Some people are defensive, which can become aggressive quite easily and quite quickly.

"And some of them storm out of the school, taking their children with them and you never see them again.

"Certainly there's a major difference — as I think teachers in any school would agree — between the parents who can hear uncomfortable things about their child and the parents who can't.

"The first group are delightful to work with and the second group are hard work."

He added that the latter group were the majority now.

Education department full of 'failed teachers'

Marsden's schools — Candlebark and Alice Miller, both in Victoria — are billed as a flexible and progressive answer to a rigid traditional school system.

Their motto is "take risks" and kids are encouraged to play outdoors in all weather and explore the area.

Marsden has years of experience teaching in other schools and now reserves some of his harshest assessments for the model of public education and those who oversee it.

"I think the whole structure is inherently unworkable and that's largely because it was designed, it happened almost organically, along with industrialisation," he said.

"And so [the purpose was] to create the smallest possible space, crammed with the largest possible number of children into that space, and staff it with the smallest possible number of adults."

He said he couldn't see major changes occurring to the model as people resisted change, including education department bureaucrats, "who, for the most part, appear to be failed teachers suffering from social awkwardness".

"We [also] have federal ministers for education who have got no knowledge of education and don't know the first thing about it until they're suddenly pitchforked into it," he said.

Marsden said he hoped his schools' approach would inspire students to "revegetate, reforest, regenerate the world" and help shape them into adults who would ultimately do more good than harm.

But the final line of his book suggests he still holds fear for the youth of today.

"Beware the bulldozers. Their hot breath is getting hotter and closer and louder," he surmises.

Source | ABC

'News Story' Author : Staff-Editor-02

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