I had just gone through a bushfire followed by a pandemic, followed by a massive flood that left thousands of people's homes uninhabitable on the NSW Mid-North Coast.

My husband and our two kids watched as burnt leaves fell in our backyard in Bellingen.

The Gondwana Rainforest, which we all love so much, was on fire behind the Dorrigo Mountains, and the koala population was decimated. And I was the one delivering all that bad news every morning.

It got me down, but also it got me wanting to be somewhere that wasn't such a roll of disaster.

Deciding to take a break

Before COVID-19 I started to put some feelers out to where I could go to maybe do some backfills.

Then I got a call from the ABC office in Darwin saying "we do need someone like you".

I love my life. I love my kids. Love my husband. And I love looking after my mum and dad.

But I needed a break. That included taking a break from parenting.

The way I pitched that to my family was: "Guys, if I'm not shining, none of us are."

That probably sounds a bit selfish. 

But when you're a mum and you're the breadwinner, if you are not on your game, then how are the kids and husband and parents going to be?

It was hardest on my husband, Pete. 

But strangely, Pete was the one who said I have to go.

He said: "I've got this. I've got the kids, I can help your mum and dad. I'm here. You go."

I got a lot of heat

People were saying, "Oh my gosh, you can't leave your children like that. Which mother does that? That is really selfish."

But when you look after everybody, then everybody starts to just normalise that. But then when you're gone, everyone fends for themselves and everyone steps up.

I started writing manifestations for what I wanted in my life.

What's important? What's not important? Who am I? Am I a nice person? Who do I want to be? What the hell have I been doing for the past 10 years? 

Do I even like this job? What's important about this job? What don't I like about this job? Is there another job that I'd be better at?

Mid-year reviews are common workplace language. Maybe we need to introduce the mid-life review?

Using my time alone

I walked a lot, saw a lot of sunsets.

At the end of each day, I list 10 things I've been grateful for that day.

Three months was all I got offered. But anything longer I think would put too much of a strain on the family.

But now I think I went from 5 per cent battery to 100 per cent now.

Is a mid-life review a good idea?

Associate professor Dr Priscilla Dunk-West, a sociologist from Charles Darwin University, says the mid-life crisis is a real thing caused by expectations we put on ourselves for certain life stages.

Dr Dunk-West says Fiona's mid-life-review was a good idea.

"Tools for reflection can include diaries; people can have counselling or therapy; people can talk to their friends. So just engage in that reflexive process.

"Noting one's accomplishments, relationships, achievements should always be at the forefront rather than going from a deficit model where you're thinking, 'Well, I haven't done this, and I haven't done that.'"

Dr Dunk-West says a crisis isn't selfish.

"It reflects someone who's connected with who they are and what they want to do in their lives," she says.

Video | Fiona Poole issues a public apology to Jacinta Price on behalf of the ABC

Story By | Fiona Poole